------------------------------ Note 1 graper/mu186 2/1/82 3:13 pm scott / udps * graper / mu186 / uofdel 5/21/81 12:37 pm * My Brother the Doctor in Vietnam "Give me a piece of pie dammit!" Dave shouted.As far as service goes,the resturant my brother and I were at left alot to be desired. A cute waitress skipped over to where we were seated and greated us with a smile. "Sorry I took so long sir,may I help you?" "Yes,I would like a piece of pie and my friend here would like a crab."Dave smiled anticipating the waitress' response. "I'm afraid we don't serve crabs here sir." "Oh yeah!Your sign says you'll serve anybody!"Dave slapped me on the back and laughed for about five minutes. The waitress then realized she had unwitting been the fall guy for some strange joke that only Dave himself seemed to fully appreciate. ---------------------------------------- Response 1 of 4 2/1/82 3:15 pm scott / udperuse * graper / mu186 / uofdel 5/21/81 12:58 pm * "You know Dan,things haven't been the same since Nam. I kinda feel like I'm in a time warp or something.There was a time when that little joke could have brought the house down." I looked at Dave sort of puzzled."What do you mean?" "Well,it's just that things will never be the same with me and the United States."Dave put his arm around my shoulder. "Uncle Sam done me wrong pardner." At this point a young married couple took a seat beside us and ordered a salad.Dave continued his story. "America decides to protect the world from Johnny Red and yours truly gets caught up in all the action.And to this day who cares about it? Nobody!" I tried to change the topic to the weather but it was no use. ---------------------------------------- Response 2 of 4 2/1/82 3:15 pm scott / udperuse * graper / mu186 / uofdel 5/21/81 1:25 pm * * graper / mu186 / uofdel 5/21/81 1:04 pm * "Yeah sure!nice weather for a Napalm shower!"Dave was getting kind of jumpy now and I was becoming concerned. "Hey C'mon,take it easy." "Take it Easy?!?How can I take it easy?I practically swam in agent orange,my best buddy is a quadraplegic,and nobody remembers the Vietnam vets!"Dave's face was turning sort of purple at this point. "So I go to visit my buddy,and you know where I find him?At the Barnum Bailey sideshow that's where!You know what they called him now? Prince Worm!That's right!The man born without limbs!!He says it's the only way for him to make a decent living!!!" My brother then stood on top of the stool he was sit- ting on and began to shout. "Come one come all...gather round to see Price Worm!!!" ---------------------------------------- Response 3 of 4 2/1/82 3:16 pm scott / udperuse * graper / mu186 / uofdel 5/21/81 1:43 pm * Suddenly a fat woman who was sitting next to my brother screamed and ran away.Dave seated himself and grabbed the catsup she was using and held it up for the camera. "I'll do just about anything for Heinz Bloody red." "Cut!"the director shouted off stage,"Good take Dr. Graper,it's a wrap." I stood up totally digusted,"Seems like a pretty damn round about way to sell catsup if you ask me." Off in the corner my brother and the director were in a conference. "It was good Dave,real good.But your brother Dan has got to go.We were thinking of maybe getting Brook Shields, or Christie McNichole to play your kid sister instead." Dave was money-minded but insisted on accuracy. "No,I don't even have a kid sister,and besides.... a different actor would break the theme." ---------------------------------------- Response 4 of 4 2/1/82 3:22 pm scott / udperuse This note was sent to me a long time ago by Dr. Graper's brother, Dan. I told him I'd put this in grapenotes as soon as there was space.