----------------------------------- Note  24   Dr Dead? 
               *** A Story by Dr. Graper ***
 
        11/20/80   6:51 pm     brian dear / udperuse
guidonotes   9/27/77  8:29 am    student / udmusic  
Dear GUIDOphiles:
  Have you noticed something strange with Dr. Graper?
He seems to be kind of screwed up, almost as if IT WASN'T
DR GRAPER WHO WROTE!!
  Last night I read that a certain "Dr. Crapper" had 
died on Sunday, Sep 25 of an overdose of LSD and that his
funeral would be this afternoon at three o'clock.
  And what about a character named "James Buchanan" who
mysteriously disappeared last week after winning the
"Dr. Graper Look-Alike Contest"?
  And what about the strange emphasis on certain words in
his notes?
  All these add together to help me form my theory tht
DR GRAPER IS DEAD!!
  Perhaps GUIDO, loving all the attention Dr. Graper was
getting for her, is actually writing the notes herself!
The evidence is growing.
 
                    A student
 
---------------------------------------- Response 1 of 4
               *** A Story by Dr. Graper ***
 
        11/20/80   6:51 pm     brian dear / udperuse
guidonotes   9/27/77  8:49 am    student / udmusic  
 
     I have new evidence towards the fact that Dr. graper 
is dead.
     The manager of the
 
---------------------------------------- Response 2 of 4
               *** A Story by Dr. Graper ***
 
        11/20/80   6:52 pm     brian dear / udperuse
guidonotes   9/27/77  8:58 am    student / udmusic  
What was that for?  Why did the computer stop me like
that?
    Well, onwards.  The manager of the "Delaware Steamboat
Marina" says that Dr. Graper, unlike any other weekend,
did not take his steamboat out for a spin!!
     Another thing.  Delaney and Bride, the undertakers
in charge of "Dr. Crapper's" funeral said that
they have not been allowed to view the body and that
all funereal arrangements have been made by a strange
beared man   who says he is a "friend of the family."
     Strangely enough, Dr. Graper was reputed to have
been seen walking through the halls of the campus library,
reading "Joke Books."  Never before has the doctor 
relied on such crutches for his humor!
     Unlike any other time, the Dr's  phone service
was out of order, saying that  "Due to unforseeable
circumstances, the Dr. can no longer answer his 
intercontinental toll free hot-line!"
 
---------------------------------------- Response 3 of 4
               *** A Story by Dr. Graper ***
 
        11/20/80   6:53 pm     brian dear / udperuse
guidonotes   9/27/77  8:49 am    student / udmusic  
 
     Another thing!  This month's issue of 
PSYCHOLOGY AND STEAMBOATING TODAY showed a picture
of Dr. Graper on the cover with a large mole on his left
cheek, short blond hair and blue eyes!  Dr. Graper
has no unsightly blemishes on his face, and 
brown hair with brown eyes!
     At the end of "his" last note,  there was nothing but
garbled confusion.  I took a copy of this note to a 
certain Dr. Kriechen of the Computer Science department
of the university and, after careful analysis, he determined
that the confusion of a typicl digital computer attempting
to assume a humor potential to great for it (see formula
in next response)
 
---------------------------------------- Response 4 of 4
               *** A Story by Dr. Graper ***
 
        11/20/80   8:02 pm     brian dear / udperuse

guidonotes   9/27/77  9:17 am    student / udmusic  
 
Humor = H
Knock knock joke = k1
Funny story = 2(xH)k1. . .K[nth]
Snappy Remark = S
Constant (speed of sound) = C
Truth = T
 
23.44[2C] +k1. . .K[nth] / u^C/1 x H(2[xH]) = TsC(H!)
TsC(H!) = H!(21)(x3[+ki. . .k10]) C
H=0/0
H= 0
Resultant Formation: Randomness
 
 
Therefore, according to this formula of Humor/Power
Interrelationships (greatly simplified) the outcome of
a humor overload of a typical computer will result in
accordant randomness on every case.