---------------------------------------- Note  15   IMP 201 
 
        10/9/80   7:05 pm     brian dear / udnondev
 
 
 
 
 
 
More classics from the Master of Reality himself,
Dr. Graper.
 
---------------------------------------- Response 1 of 4
               *** A Story by Dr. Graper ***
 
        10/9/80   7:05 pm     brian dear / udnondev
        "Alright," the professor said to the massive clot of
humanity gathered in the lecture hall,"let's get under way."
        Thousands of notebooks opened to their first pages,
and thousands of pens and pencils stood on the ready, pre-
paring to copy down whatever the professor said.
        "If you don't know already, this is Impossible
Physics 201, and I'm Adolf Hitler."
        "That's impossible!" a young man from the crowd
shouted.
        "Precisely!" the professor returned, "physically__________
impossible!"
        The students murmured with appeciation at this first
taste of impossible physics.
        "Allright, students, let's try somethng else.  How
about this?" The professor climbed on top of the central lab
table and jumped off without falling.  Standing in midair,
he asked the class to explain what he was doing.
        "You're...you're standing in mid-air!" an overly-
made up female in the front row said.
 
---------------------------------------- Response 2 of 4
               *** A Story by Dr. Graper ***
 
        10/9/80   7:07 pm     brian dear / udnondev
        "True," the professor said, "and what else?"
        "You're denying the law of gravity!" shouted an 
exchange student from Nigeria who got a special grant from
the people at Coca-Cola just to study under this professor.
        "Right," the professor stated, beginning to pace
back and forth in mid-air in front of the lab table.
        He walked back onto the lab table and then slowly
stepped back onto the ground. "What I just did can easily 
be explained by this equation," the professor said, pulling
down a screen with an incredibly complex, all-in-tiny-print
formula on it. "Study it hard, you're going to have a quiz
on it in thirty seconds that figures for 97% of your grade!"
        "That's unfair!" a girl in the front row objected.
        "Hardly, Miss Mayfair," the professor grunted, 
pleased at Ms. Mayfair's look of dismay at his knowing her
name. "It's impossible!"
        Miss Mayfiar's face turned red with embarassment.
 
---------------------------------------- Response 3 of 4
               *** A Story by Dr. Graper ***
 
        10/9/80   7:08 pm     brian dear / udnondev
        "Don't worry Miss Mayfair. The only punishment for
wrong answers in this class is disfiguration."
        To this Miss Mayfair laughed quietly and returned
to her former composure.
        "Alright, class, now for the quiz. Everyone take 
out a blank sheet of paper."
        Thousands of sheets of paper ripped out simul-
taneously.
        "Lay them on your desks, and prepare yourself for
question one."
        The classroom silenced.
        "Allright, that'll be it," the professor said.
        The students looked at each other in dismay.
        "Your quizzes have been scored, graded, registered,
modulated and transmitted to the unknown civilizations of
the universe."
        Suddenly, a rush of sound ran through the lecture
hall. The students turned over their papers to find quizzes,
written in their own handwriting, suddenly graded and 
scored.
 
---------------------------------------- Response 4 of 4
               *** A Story by Dr. Graper ***
 
        10/9/80   7:10 pm     brian dear / udnondev
        "I didn't write this!"
        "But it's your handwriting!" the professor retorted,
"Class is over.  I'll see you all yesterday."
        The students again murmured among themselves about
the sanity of their teacher, and filed out of the lecture
hall.  It was snowing.
        When they had come in, it had been summer, with 
90 degrees in the shade.