---------------------------------------- Note 25 carl moore!! *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 8/1/79 5:08 pm lynch / udplato / unidel udnotes/unidel 8/1/79 4:13 pm graper/udperuse/unidel Dear Friends: Whether you may know it or not, tomorrow (or probably today for some of you) is Carl Moore's birthday. Yes, August 2, 1979 is Carl's 27th, and really, how can we all express our thanks to this amazing member of the PLATO community? When was it? Hell, it must have been, what? lessee, 1952, August 2 when it all began. And who would have known. . . [Hand hewn log cabin in Appalachian Wilderness] [Crickets chirping outside] [Man sits on front porch in rocker, head bowed and hands clasped together, staring at toes of shoes] [Hoot owl hoots] ---------------------------------------- Response 1 of 8 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 8/1/79 5:09 pm lynch / udplato / unidel [Suddenly, from inside, a cracking sound, then the cry of an infant] [Black female rushes out door] BF: Missuh Moore! Missuh Moore! You gots yourself a bran' new baby son!! [Farmer Moore rushes into the dirty, lamplit room and sees his wife Clementine holding a tiny, writhing baby] [Holds son in arms] DAD: By God, a son at last! I shall name you. . . . [Suddenly, from outside, a horse is heard riding up] [The horseman quickly dismounts and rushes into the Moore house] ---------------------------------------- Response 2 of 8 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 8/1/79 5:10 pm lynch / udplato / unidel Horseman: There's a heap of trouble 12 miles yonduh, suh! Dad: You mean? Horsmn: Yessuh. General Grant has taken Montricksville. Dad: Then. . .then, I must go. Mom Moore: NO! Thaddeus! Dad Moore: Duty calls, my dear. . .Jemimah can help you until I return. . . (Puts on Confederate uniform) Mom Moore: NO! Thaddeus! The boy! Dad Moore: I'm sorry, but I must do what I must do. Jemimah, take care of Missus Moore and the boy. Jemimah: (Tears running down cheeks) Yes, Missuh Moore. ---------------------------------------- Response 3 of 8 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 8/1/79 5:11 pm lynch / udplato / unidel [Dad Moore walks dramatically out door and mounts horse] Dad Moore: Don't worry dear, everything will be alright. Mom Moore: NO! [Black female named Jemimah forces her back into bed] [Baby cries loudly, having been left on top of the dining room table and forgotten during all the excitment] [Fade up lonesome harmonica music, playing "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" in a minor key] . . .and the South lost the war, and the Clementine Moore never heard from Thaddeus again. There were years of hard times: low food, inflation, gas lines, technologic disillusionment and neo-conservatism. The civil war had taken a grim toll. . . ---------------------------------------- Response 4 of 8 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 8/1/79 5:12 pm lynch / udplato / unidel . . .then, after the reconstruction of the South came the incredible 60's, full of acid, free love and political upheaval. [Torn up Berkley Apartment with dirty, unbathed people wearing sunglasses sitting all over the floor] [A Beatles album plays on a cheap record player] Freak: Like, man, said I was through with oppression and like ecology and anti-establishment, off the pigs, oh, that dork Johnson, do drugs, man. . . Freak2: Like, alright, dig that, yeah (laughs) but wow, I can see the other way too or three if you know the hype, jeez, the whole world is like one huge ball of wood, coming crashing down on the exclusion of reality. . . Female Freak: Oh yeah, wow. ---------------------------------------- Response 5 of 8 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 8/1/79 5:13 pm lynch / udplato / unidel [Dissolve to music of Beach Boys] . . .but Carl wasn't in on the empty rhetoric of an age doomed to self-extinction. No, Carl became engrossed in engineering and took several bit parts in over twenty eight Gidget movies. . . [On location of "Gidget meets the Beach Bums", Santa Bingo beach, California] [Cameras are rolling] Gidget: Hey, mister! Carl M: Yeah? Gidget: Can you give me change for a quarter? Carl M: Sure, here you go (gives her two dimes and nickel) Gidget: Thanks! ---------------------------------------- Response 6 of 8 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 8/1/79 5:14 pm lynch / udplato / unidel [Director shouts "CUT"] Director: Alright, that's a take. Gidget: I wanna get out of this stinking dress! Carl M: Thanks for the acting part, Miss Gidget. Gidget: (Not noticing Carl) Hey, where's my makeup assistant? Probably screwing around with the cameraman again. Frankie: (Said slyly) She can't come close to you when it comes to screwing around, ark ark ark! Gidget: You stinking son of a bitch!(Picks up a surf board and bangs it, fin down, on Frankie Avalon's head) [Frankie falls unconscious] ---------------------------------------- Response 7 of 8 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 8/1/79 5:14 pm lynch / udplato / unidel [Gidget's makeup assistant comes out] Assistant: Sorry, Gidge, but I was bored. Decided to get a coke. Gidget: Listen here, sister, you are my slave_____! You will always be here when I am on the set! Assistant: The hell I will! I'm not some stinking serf! Carl: Get it? Get it? Serf!! Bored!! Serf-Bored! Gidget: (Finally noticing Carl) You! You, the extra! Get the hell off my set! Carl: Don't you get it? Serf-Bored is like Surf-Board, the thing you go surfing on and hit supporting actors over the head with! Gidget: Get this idiot off the set!! ---------------------------------------- Response 8 of 8 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 8/1/79 6:01 pm lynch / udplato / unidel . . .and suddenly, it's today and Carl is 27. A mere note cannot encompass the life of a man. Neither can a book, or even a library of books. The only fitting way to sum up Carl Moore is in a limerick: There once was a man named Carl Moore Unlike any programmer before His puns were so bad And his pants were so plaid That we never knew what was in store. Happy Birthday, Carl.