---------------------------------- Note 2 assorted pnotes 10/4/78 5:28 pm lynch / udplato / unidel The following are some personal notes that the Doctor has been writing to some of his fans. If you get one from him that isn't repeated here, feel free to add a response with it! ---------------------------------------- Response 1 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 10/4/78 5:30 pm lynch / udplato / unidel Dear Mr. Burkholder: Pleasant to hear from you. Must say I haven't heard from anybody from CERL in a long time, whichever state that is. Hmm. Uhh. (Scratches head) Can't think of anything that interesting to. . . .what are you looking at? (Quickly brushes dandruff off of shoulders) Oh Christ. What can I say? Alright, maybe this will work: . . . .she glided down the stairs, her hair like a flowing brown river, her hands graceful wisps of ivory coloured silk, her breasts like twin bowls of flesh-tone jello. . . . Christ, that didn't work at all. I'm sorry. Hmm. Well, ECS is running out. Better go. Your Friend Dr. Graper ---------------------------------------- Response 2 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 10/4/78 5:30 pm lynch / udplato / unidel Ever see anybody that just sort of makes you say to yourself, "something is wrong?" I mean, like, you look at him and his eyes____ are like on the sides of his head instead of tastefully arranged on each side of his nose? And his nose is off center, assymmetrical you know? Well there's one sitting at the terminal next to mine right now. He has eyes like a horse, almost on the sides of his head! If I didn't know better, I'd think he was an alien of some sort. Oh well. Your Friend, Dr. Graper ---------------------------------------- Response 3 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 10/4/78 7:02 pm lynch / udplato / unidel Dear Steakley: Just tought I'd pop you a note to see that I saw your note about my sending notes. Thank you for you response. It is a real thrill to be able to speak inter- computer like this, you know. You know, when we first started with PLATO, we didn't even have inter-computer information capability. No, we had no decode the binary all by hand__ ____! That was a bitch. Could you imagine how hard it is to write a funny story in binary? And it took a long time, too, since the Plato Terminals were all in the Agriculture and Aerospace building just last year. Had to commute over 15 miles to get there. Luckily, I had a class in Agricultural Aerospace that year and got to use it almost every day. Now, in our modernized PLATO classroom, all I have to do is press SHIFT-FOOD for a tasty snack or SHIFT-anything, for that matter. Why, I'm so good at PLATO now that I even have it doing term-papers for me! ---------------------------------------- Response 4 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 10/6/78 10:54 pm lynch / udplato / unidel Dear Bill: The Tripp Lawn Job I referred to was the Maclary Lawn Job. It was the most incredibly destructive thing I had ever I seen Dan do. It was loads of fun, watching Dan in the front seat doing a peculiar type of lawn job called a "Coffee Grinder" in which he had his car spin its tail around and around. In honor of that, the people at Maclary have erected a chain fence to keep it from happening again. As I understand it, Dan's lawn job seriously farted up their baseball field for an entire year. Must go (Just take a look at the hour!) Dr. Graper ---------------------------------------- Response 5 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 10/18/78 6:58 pm lynch / udplato / unidel Dear Bill: The umbrella you lent me is in the back. It didn't work too well. In fact, it collapsed on Cleveland Avenue and then all these negroes laughed and laughed when I would not only be rained upon by splashed by the big splashes of cars going by. Ten foot, Hawaiian curlers these were, potholes filled with slimy water struck by fast moving cadillacs and cordobas and splashed all over the good Dr.'s body. Oh how I loathed the sight of oncoming headlights, the splash of tire against pothole and the impact of cold, dull Newark water upon my frame. But, as said before, the worst of all was the negroes, laughing from Daffy Deli. "Look at dat boy! What a funny umbreller he__ have! It don't hardly works! He mus' be soakin' wet by now!!" Ah, but there was a happy ending. While stopping off at McDonalds for some psychological and physical support I was offered a lift back to my development. The End. ---------------------------------------- Response 6 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 10/31/78 7:03 pm tripp / udplato / unidel Dear Dan: I was hit by a car again, yesterday. My bicycle is destroyed, and the dumb shit who hit me isn't paying for repairs or doctor bills. I came out of it real fine, only superficial scratches and something called a Muscular Bone diddly doo which doesn't hurt that much and which my Dr. wasn't too concerned about. But my bike is destroyed. My TEAC tape deck is falling apart. It makes funny sounds "whirr BING BING BING" and gives everything this funny, vibrato sort of sound. I'm not doing too well in my classes. My room is a mess. And to top it all off, I have to leave the terminal for some horny-rimmed glassesed fellow. Your Friend, Dr. Graper ---------------------------------------- Response 7 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 1/22/79 7:08 pm lynch / udplato / unidel [Variation one] [Bill Lynch programming quietly] [Small foreign looking 10 year old kid comes in] Kid: Hey, Meester, can I youse de PLATO terminales? BLy: (Whirls around in chair) Just who the hell do you think you are, kid?? PLATO is for grown ups, not for kids, least_____ of all for snotty little foreigner kids! Kid: But Meester, I haf programmede een several mahchina language! I haf a deegree in the Computair Science! BLy: Oh, Smarty Pants, huh? Well, why don't you just hit the road, wetback!! Go back to picking tomatoes Kid: But. . .but BLy: I said OUT!! [Bill boots poor little kid out door and into the cold snow] ---------------------------------------- Response 8 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 1/30/79 3:13 pm lynch / udplato / unidel Dear Ms. Seiler: I couldn't help but notice that you strike an uncanny resemblance to a picture I once saw called "Bonnie Human." Ah, but what the hell, right? I say, if you can't get the cat out from behind the walls, you shouldn't have put in that damned expensive wood panelling anyways cause you were bound to tear it down sometime. Hey, don't get me wrong. I'm only a newauth, and stupid as all get out. You want to know something strange? I was over at this guy's house the other evening (actually morning, since it was so late in the evening) and we were really feeling very disturbed about society and discussing how we think things are really so bad and we turn on the television and what should be on but this old Roman movie. Yeah! It was called, "John de Baptiste" since it was foreign and all the voices were dubbed and, well, to make the long story short these roman guys have this guy named John the Baptist killed and bring his head in on a. . .you probably know ---------------------------------------- Response 9 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 1/30/79 3:16 pm lynch / udplato / unidel that already. . .well, this one roman fellow named Pontius Flabbus (he was very fat) is really mean and every body hates him and in the very end, he gets into a sword fight with the hero who beats him and knocks his sword away and Pontius Flabbus says, "Go ahead, kill me!!" but the hero goes, "No," and steps back, letting a big roman crowd form around him, "Let the swords of Rome kill you!!" and then a whole bunch of people start getting Pontius f Flabbus with their swords and then they all stand back and Pontius Flabbus looks just like a porcupine, what with all these swords sticking out of him and he shouts, "Oh what a disgrace to Rome!" and falls down the stairs. Well, both my friend and I still weren't tired so we watched half of this Elvis Presley movie called "Malibu Dream-date" which was so hard to understand that I just had to call it quits and go to bed. Your Friend, Dr. Graper ---------------------------------------- Response 10 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 2/7/79 2:51 pm lynch / udplato / unidel Dear Jim: Only one question now. Now that we've graduated as the PLATO class of '79, how come there aren't any graduation exercises? I told my parents I was going to get a diploma and they invited all my relatives for the PLATO commencement exercises and then Bill just told me that there weren't going to be any! I've been searching every notefile for some kind of notice as to where we rent our mortarboards and robes. Come on. Where do we buy our class album, our class ring and yearbook? Do you think I'll be voted "Most likely to succeed?" Your Friend Dr. Graper ---------------------------------------- Response 11 of 20 2/10/79 3:07 am j wilson / udperuse / unidel * graper / newauth / unidel 1/10/79 7:32 pm * Dear Jim: How are you, Jim? What? Oh, that's good. Me? I'm just fine, thank you. Hey, Jim, I've been meaning to ask you this for a long time. I lost one of my little place markers from my Monopoly set, you know, the little plastic men you run around the board, and, well, I've been meaning to ask you if you have any spares. I've only got one, and I hate having to have guests use salt shakers or coins for playing. . . .what? No. No, I guess not. Forget it. I guess I'll have to ask from someone else. What about. . . yeah, I guess so. Well, a busy man like you shouldn't have to. . .what? Yeah, sure. I guess I'll see you later. . .right. Right. Uh huh. . .well, yeah, later. Your Friend, Dr. Graper ---------------------------------------- Response 12 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 3/13/79 8:34 pm lynch / udplato / unidel Dear Andreas: Got the bypass perambulator you asked for. Should run about $750 apiece, but I bought them already knowing that you'd want to access them immediately. Bill called me last night, said the random sequetamanators will be fully operational if they don't explode when they get sectioned into the data cellulite! Good luck with the grunt-encoded machine televiewer. Your Friend, Dr. Graper ---------------------------------------- Response 13 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 3/14/79 8:09 pm lynch / udplato / unidel Dear Andreas: What? I have fifteen tons of high precision elec- tronics here, ready for immediate perambulation. Look, I'm only making you this offer once: Buy the whole lot for 15 million (your firm should easily finance that____) or I sell the whole kit-and-caboodle to the Venezualans! If I don't get the 12K phase-locked loop chromide chips into a cold place soon, all of them will melt from this blasted good weather. This is your last chance! I can only keep them on my steamboat for 2 more days before the authorities charge me with smuggling! Your Friend, Dr. Graper ---------------------------------------- Response 14 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 3/14/79 8:11 pm lynch / udplato / unidel Dear Andreas: Too late. Mssr. Bonjour from France called, said he wants all of it for $20 million. Sorry, but business is business. Your Friend, Dr. Graper ---------------------------------------- Response 15 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 3/30/79 11:49 am tripp / udps / unidel Dear Dan: After just blowing in on the back of my brother's Honda street bike, waving peace signs to the pretty girls on the street and having my hair blow Easy Rider like in the Newark wind, I feel great. Your Friend, Dr. Graper ---------------------------------------- Response 16 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 4/9/79 8:04 pm lynch / udplato / unidel Dear Bonne: La Universitie du Quebec, which many campuses PLATO has, salutes the Delaware Universitee for hours plenty 65 millione, no? We here in Quebec, big sprawling country with plenty big districts have PLATO units portable''' which are tres//// very portable' units, no? And of course plenty new well-matured courseware packages programmed by dynamique infrastructure of Universitie Bonjour de Ladeedah dans Garcon in my students lucky head, no? Votre PLATO Ami, Mssr. Grapier ---------------------------------------- Response 17 of 20 5/25/79 1:03 pm anderer / udplato / unidel * graper / udps / unidel 5/25/79 11:56 am * Dear Mr. Anderer: RE: Deleting catalogs from demor I still have plenty of room, so that's no bother. I thank you for your prompt answer and sagacity into this as yet unknown to me facet of PLATO's superstructure, bene- fitting not only myself, I assure you, but things much larger. Indeed, we might even dare to say that this dis- covery, this insight was asked of, no, demanded________ by society and culture itself. (I must apologize, but after finishing an essay exam I'm having trouble gearing down) Your Friend, Dave Graper ---------------------------------------- Response 18 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 6/25/79 5:19 pm lynch / udplato / unidel * graper / udps / unidel 5/9/79 4:29 pm * Dear Bill: Too. . ..to o .. . .too busy to think t%right now just can't dsxx goddman dc can't think mucst go fast many things gotto to dright now Christ I what gotta go to Happy Harry's and drink some coffee. no, had my first bike accident yersterday will. . .not bad. graper ---------------------------------------- Response 19 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 6/25/79 5:20 pm lynch / udplato / unidel * graper / udps / unidel 5/11/79 11:35 am * Dear Bill: Good Morning! Your Friend, Dr. G ---------------------------------------- Response 20 of 20 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 7/5/79 6:13 pm tripp / udps / unidel grapenotes / cerl 7/3/79 2:12 pm brooks / pea / cerl * graper / udps / unidel 5/17/79 6:20 pm * Dear Comade: Dammit, I've sent you two___ pnotes and each time I get this message saying, "Not receiving pnotes because of people trying to fill up my pnote file" and so on. If this one gets through, I'll be glad to write you a really neat pnote and stuff and Christ, I'd even give you this third page of the story, "Bitches on Wheels," a really weird story about female bikers who terrorize a Midwestern town and make all the menfolk their sexual slaves so that I might make a few bucks selling it to BLACK-HORSE Adult Books, Inc. and make some money for once by writing. Honest to god, there are people at these parties I go to who say, "Oh, you're a writer! You'd like Carl!" and I meet Carl and he turns out to drink a lot of hard stuff and looks at my beer in disdain and says, "Graper? Yes