---------------------------------------- Note 7 Story Outline *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 12/7/77 10:23 pm lynch / unidel Wow, I'd really like to write a story today, but I've got to go to work early and I've got to start work on this paper, so, um, well, here's how it would go: 1. Dr. Graper is walking to lecture hall to deliver lecture, meets girl 2. Girl looks wonderful, Dr. Graper fumbles thru lecture, occassionally accidentally sticking in freudian slips 3. After class, asks girl out A) Girl flatly refuses, calls Dr. Graper: i) a boorish pig ii) an effeminate twit 4. Dr. Graper tries to humorously let it off A) Crowd gathers B) Girl begins to harass Dr. in front of crowd i) tells crowd that Dr. wanted her to perform lewd acts with animals so he can photograph them with his Polaroid C) Crowd begins to laugh at Dr. ---------------------------------------- Response 1 of 9 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 12/7/77 10:24 pm lynch / unidel 5) Dr. backs out, then turns and runs 6) Next day, at lecture hall, nasty things are written on the chalkboard before he arrives A) Concerning lewd acts with animals B) Containing crude sexual remarks C) Displaying graphic representation of Dr. with a horse (poorly drawn) 7) Dr. again tries to dismiss it with humor, erases chalkboard and begins lecture 8) Students begin to sing chant 9) Dr. fails to dismiss it with humor, runs out exit 10) Next day--dismissal notice in mailbox A) "You are hereby dismissed from your position as head of the University of Delaware Dept. of humor for violating the Professorial bestiality ethics act. E. Trabant, President" B) Dr. protests but no-one listens ---------------------------------------- Response 2 of 9 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 12/7/77 10:26 pm lynch / unidel 11) Goes out to car A) Windows smashed in B) Turned upside down C) Burnt out by fire bomb 12) Goes to neighborhood newstand A) Sees headlines on local papers i) "PROF. THROWN OUT ON DISGUSTING CHARGES." ii) "UD PROFESSOR IS ANIMAL LOVER." iii) "HAS YOUR KID HAD THIS PROFESSOR?" a) accompanied by large picture of Dr. G. 13) People in newstand throw him out 14) Dr. publicly protests A) Is almost hanged B) Is almost shot C) Is almost run-down by car 15) Dr. leaves for Switzerland A) Is interviewed by BBC B) Is interviewed by NBC and CBS and ABC ---------------------------------------- Response 3 of 9 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 12/7/77 10:27 pm lynch / unidel 16) Gets picture on front of NEWSWEEK A) Title: DR GRAPER. . .A PROBLEM OF ETHICS 17) Issue grows weighty on minds of Americans A) Riots in NYC B) Free-Graper terrorist bombings in Los Angeles C) 50,000 students attack pentagon building; 13 dead D) University of Delaware president Trabant murdered in "retaliatory" terrorist strike 18) Surprise move by President Carter A) Grants immunity to Dr. Graper in name of human rights B) Denotes day of his return a national holiday C) Bestows medal of valour to Dr. 19) People rejoice 20) World leaders send congratulations 21) Dr. returns via steamboat to New York harbour A) Assassin, positioned in a warehouse, shoots him when he comes ashore B) Dr. dies in metropolitan hospital C) Assassin caught but murdered before questioning ---------------------------------------- Response 4 of 9 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 12/7/77 10:28 pm lynch / unidel 22) Suspicion of CIA plot 23) Government leaders discover assassin was communist agent A) Russian Communist chairman admits to plot 24) President Carter calls nation to action A) President assumes position of commander in chief B) Threatens nuclear retaliation C) Begins appearing in news conferences wearing helmet and holster 25) United States assumes alliance with the Peoples' Republic of China A) Western Europe states friendship with U.S. B) Russia cuts diplomatic ties with all countries 26) Sneak attack on missile silos in midwest 27) United States' PLATO DEFENSECOMPUTER reacts with 93% retaliatory force using neutron weapons located in West Germany 28) German, French and American armies take Leningrad 29) Massive fighting in Manchuria and Yatrusk area ---------------------------------------- Response 5 of 9 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 12/7/77 10:30 pm lynch / unidel 30) Russians attempt exploding "Doomsday Weapon," cut short by CIA trained chinese storm troopers 31) Volgograd taken 32) Minsk destroyed 33) Moscow falls after neutron bomb bombardment 34) Chinese, American and European troops meet in Moscow A) Conference in Switzerland called for the division of USSR between the three powers B) Everyone happy 35) Surprise entrance by Dr. Graper, who had been busy recording a new album with YES in 0slo all the time, man on steamboat was imposter A) World relieved 36) Carter bestows another medal on Dr. A) Says, "Dr. made us do what we'd do anyway." B) Says, "Dr's new song, 'Hey, Babe!' will become new national anthem 37) Everyone lives happily ever after 38) THE END ---------------------------------------- Response 6 of 9 12/10/77 8:16 pm turnbow / css hhhmm...interesting...what happens next...can't wait to here next installment!!!!!! Flash ---------------------------------------- Response 7 of 9 12/14/77 9:51 pm holle / cigma I don't think there is enough disk space on plato... ---------------------------------------- Response 8 of 9 1/13/78 9:21 pm robertson / csstaff nice ---------------------------------------- Response 9 of 9 2/9/78 8:05 pm dewitt / phystemp good. review appears in newsweek, 'The Dr. Graper Story' New York Times calls it, 'One of the best Graper stories to appear in years' Sweden: author of 'The Dr. Graper Story' receives Nobel Prize for Literature. President Carter, entertaining Brezhnev, Dr. Graper, and other world leaders, calls it 'singly the most significant piece of writing in modern times'. Bantam publishes billions of copies to be distributed world-wide. 'Every literate and illiterate person on earth should have a copy of "The Dr. Graper Story"', explained Bantam publisher Thomas Graper. Asked if he had read the famous work, Graper replied, 'No.'