---------------------------------------- Note 21 Girlfriend *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 1/10/78 6:02 pm tripp / unidel Dear Friends: Just a note to say hello. I'd like to ask, who "Kathy" is? I mean, like, the last time a GIRL wrote me, she said, Dear David (I didn't make her call me Dr. Graper): College life has been really nice. My dorm is well decorated, and my roomate is really a nice person. I hope things are really nice with you. My classes and professors are all really nice. I met this guy at the RHODEY Disco last night named "Brad." (This part REALLY got me) You'd like him (I'll bet) because he likes music like you do. I went over to his apartment last night. . . [At this point, I began writhing in my chair and crumpling the paper in my fists] . . .and he showed me some of his artwork. It was really nice. ---------------------------------------- Response 1 of 5 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 1/10/78 6:25 pm tripp / unidel We went to the Providence Art Museum yesterday afternoon, and it was really nice. Brad knew a lot about the art on display, and he could tell me a lot about it. Brad is funny, like you are. . . [Here I began pounding my fists on the table] . . .and you'd probably like him. [HOW COULD I LIKE ANYONE YOU WOULD FIND IN A "DISCO?"] Well, I've got to go wash my laundry, so I've got to stop. See you later. Love etc, etc, etc Christ, was I ever angry ---------------------------------------- Response 2 of 5 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 1/10/78 6:28 pm tripp / unidel Immediately, I set to work writing a return lettter. Dear J: My anger towards you at this point can only be described as being similar in intensity to the burning inferno of the sun. . . [Incidentally, while I was tapping her out tthis letter, I was pretending to be an 18th century persecuted behaviorist] [It may be easier to imagine, as I did, myself writing the note while dressed in 18th century clothing with a quill pen] Good god, you cannot imagine what effect your mindless note had upon my person! Your "visits" to others' apartments! Your euphemistic view towards infidelity!! Compound this with your base style of writing! You ---------------------------------------- Response 3 of 5 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 1/10/78 6:28 pm tripp / unidel obviously do not realize what profound effect your thoughtless acts have towards my emotions. . . [If you will, imagine a hateful villager throwing a brick through the window of my 18th century English Behaviorist's house. It will give you the feeling of hallucinatory persecution felt at this next point in the letter] . . .Lord Almighty, why can you, you and truly the WORLD, not fall into pits of vulgar hypocrisy and dishonor in relation to your fellow human beings!!??!! How has thought, self-control and moderation been lost? I resign my attempts in trying to compete in a world wherein I cannot depend upon the simple affections of another. Yours Truly, Etc. etc. etc. ---------------------------------------- Response 4 of 5 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 1/10/78 6:29 pm tripp / unidel [One last thing. For the closing of the letter, imagine the loud striking of an E minor chord on the piano occuring simultaneously with the reading of my "Yours Truly, etc."] Well, that's the way it was. She wrote anotther letter which was full of : "I can't understand what you're saying" "Brad couldn't understand it either" "Does this mean it's all over" sorts of things. Oh well, I guess I'd better go. Yours Truly, Dr. Graper Master of Reality ---------------------------------------- Response 5 of 5 2/1/78 12:10 pm dewitt / phystemp this is hilarious!