---------------------------------------- Note  20   Dear Dr. G. 
 
         1/10/78   5:52 pm     tripp / unidel
Here is another classic from the Graper Archives.
 
This work is especially significant because it is here
that David Graper was first called  "Dr. Graper".
 
The note was written in =guidonotes= using the signon of
"student / udmusic", which the Doctor used before he got
his own signon.
 
 
 
 
 
guidonotes (cdc)  9/12/77  12:34 pm    student     udmusic
 
---------------------------------------- Response 1 of 3
               *** A Story by Dr. Graper ***
 
         1/10/78   5:53 pm     tripp / unidel
Dr. Graper:
    I have a problem.  Everybody makes fun of me just
because I am a computer programmer.  They all laugh at me
when I'm reading my computer language manuals and scream
nasty chants at me when I walk across campus.  Can't
people realize that, even though I work with computers
I'm just another person with a different lifestyle and
different preferances?
 
      Name and address withheld
 
Dear Programmer:
    Personally, I won't tolerate queers like you, no
matter how you try to explain yourself away.  Computer
programming has been a detestable vice since the days of
Sodom and Gommora and is even more a vice today, in my 
professional opinion. My suggestion is this: Politely go
to your computer center and demand a change of major from
computer science to communications. You might try to
repair your campus image by buying a large, fast car
 
---------------------------------------- Response 2 of 3
               *** A Story by Dr. Graper ***
 
         1/10/78   5:54 pm     tripp / unidel
Another option would be to begin lifting weighs,
going to discos with pretty girls in your communication
classes or play frisbee on the campus a lot.
     Computer programming is not just "another lifestyle",
it is a mind-deteriorating activity that eventually
will kill you.  No matter what the computer will say,
it is a vicious and cruel entity (e.g. GUIDO) bent on
using your human body as a tool to further itself.
     Speaking of GUIDO, I remember meeting her just the
other day in my office.  At the moment she came in I was
performing a delicate operation on a patient of mine,
gall bladder or something, and she comes into my waiting
room and goes to my receptionist, "Get me Dr. Graper,
pronto!"  Well, my receptionist won't take that sort of
guff so she just said, "Sit down and read something and 
the Doctor will be with you in a minute."  Then GUIDO
storms back into the waiting area and takes all the 
National Geographics in the magazine rack and throws them
all over the place.  If that wasn't enough, she turned
over all
 
---------------------------------------- Response 3 of 3
               *** A Story by Dr. Graper ***
 
         1/10/78   5:55 pm     tripp / unidel
the ashtrays and dumped them on the floor!  Well, as you
can guess, my receptionist was pretty upset and she
exclaimed, "Stop that!" but GUIDO kept going on and on,
knocking over all the plants on the windowsill and
kicking the furniture.  So than my receptionist, rather than
disturb me, pulls a shotgun out from under the table and
blasts GUIDO twice in the head.  (I distinctly remember
hearing two shots while operating) Then, with GUIDO
calmed down, she returned to her filing and noticed that
GUIDO didn't even have an appointment!! Jesus, what some
computers will do!
 
     Dr. David J. Graper, PhD, Master of Reality (Harvard)