---------------------------------------- Note 2 Rock Star *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 12/7/77 1:54 pm lynch / unidel The booming vibrations of the bass guitar shook her body she could hardly keep her eyes on him. It was incredible! There he was, even better looking and better sounding than on his albums. She knew it was well worth the twelve-dollar ticket to see him as close as she could now, even though there were at least a hundred other girls just like her, screaming with hands flailing wildly towards the stage. The tinny sound of the SPECTRUM was no matter, she knew that Dr. Graper would sound beautiful anywhere. "Ah, thank you, thank you very much. . ." he said, walking from behind his keyboards, "I'd like to play a song I've written for our latest album, 'Close to the Ledge." Patty jumped up and down with glee, as did everyone else in the building. "It's called 'Starship Roundabout'," he said, to which the crowd went wild. "Ba da ba da ba dum" went the band in their familiar way as Patty began pounding her head against the stage with excitement. When she looked up, there he was behind the keyboards again, singing and playi ---------------------------------------- Response 1 of 9 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 12/7/77 2:01 pm lynch / unidel playing the bass drum as well. "OHH, DR!!!" she screamed as he began his teenybopper famous solo on the Hammond. But all too soon it was finished, and after the last song was played, the band ran off the stage and the magic was gone. She hurriedly tried to catch him driving away but it was to no avail, and in frustration she broke down in tears in the parking lot. There she sat,all alone, crying in Philadelphia. "What have we here?" said a voice behind her. She expected it to be a policeman, and turned around ready with an excuse. But it was Dr. Graper himself!! Of course, she was too shocked for words, but the Dr. spoke first. "How about a lift?" "Su. . .sure, ah. . .ah" "Alright then, hop in." He pointed towards his psychedelic painted Mercedes 360SL. ---------------------------------------- Response 2 of 9 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 12/7/77 2:05 pm lynch / unidel She didn't really know how to act in front of such a superstar as Dr. Graper, but he took it all naturally and, much to her surprise, turned out to be an ordinary fun guy. "What's your name?" "Pa. . .patty." "Oh, that's nice. Wanna hear some music?" "Oh, yeah," she said, then absentmindedly asked, "Do you have any 'Dr. Graper'?" Then she embarassedly said , "Oh, you. . .are. . Dr. .Graper." "Yep." "Ah, do you have any of your own music?" "Nope." "What do you have?" "YES, mostly." "Who's YES?" "Oh, just a little band I've got a penchant for. They've got some good musical ideas." "Not as good as yours, I'll bet." "Uh." ---------------------------------------- Response 3 of 9 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 12/7/77 6:20 pm lynch / unidel "I have all your albums. . .'Close to the Ledge,' 'Starship Roundabout,' 'Grapersongs,'. . ." "Thank you." "Thank you? Oh, yes! I'm sorry, I just can't realize that you're Dr. Graper himself!! All the girls at high school won't believe it." "You want something to eat?" "What?" "Something to eat." "Why, sure." "OK," Dr. Graper said, and pulled into an I-95 all night truck stop diner. * * * * * * * ** * The finished eating quickly and were back on their way again. Dr. Graper put on a tape of Bach. "You like this junk? I mean, you know, it doesn't seem to be, like, you know, like with your, you know, image." "What did you say?" "You like this. . .'Bach' stuff?" ---------------------------------------- Response 4 of 9 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 12/7/77 6:23 pm lynch / unidel "Sometimes." She felt the car turning and looked outside. They had pulled off I95 onto an unknown exit. "Hey, where are we going?" "To a motel." It didn't take them long to get there. My god, she thought, I'm now going to be a REAL groupie!!To do it with. . .Dr. Graper!!She looked over at him with a passionate glance. My god, how handsome he was! "Well," he said, bringing the car to a halt,"We get out here. Room 112 . . .here's the keys." She took them and began her search for the room. When she got in, it was totally dark, but when she turned on the lights, she saw his quarters. All over the walls were large pictures of 18th century characters with strange names. . .Bach. . .Beethoven. . .Liszt. She had never been to any of their concerts. "Hey, good, you found it. I gotta go to the bathroom, but I'll be back in a minute. You can get in bed now if you want." ---------------------------------------- Response 5 of 9 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 12/7/77 6:27 pm lynch / unidel WOW, she thought, HERE IT COMES!! She quickly disrobed, turned off the lights, and climbed between the covers of the motel's bed. And she waited. And waited. And waited. "Dr? Are you coming or not?" "Yeah, I'm just sorting through some manuscripts." She thought that these must be some sorts of prophylactic device, so she waited. And then, out he came. Confidently he strode into the room,closed the door behind him, and walked towards the bed. But he stopped halfway, his form somewhat obscured by the darkness, and sat down at the piano. "Dr?" He began to play a C Major scale. "Dr? Aren't you coming to bed?" "Sorry, but I've got to practice." "Wasn't the concert tonight enough practice." ---------------------------------------- Response 6 of 9 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 12/7/77 6:28 pm lynch / unidel "Nope. I have two Czerny etudes to get down by Thursday for my lessons. . ." and away he buzzed on the piano. She was amazed. "Go to sleep. I'll wake you up and take you home in the morning." "But. . .but" "No buts about it, I've got to get back to college for an 8 o'clock class tommorrow morning. Better get to sleep now, so waking up early won't be as bad." *** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "You did what?" "Really, I was with DR GRAPER ALL LAST NIGHT!!" "You're kidding." "Swear to God!" Patty said, showing them a pair of his monographed underwear. "WOW!" her friends shouted, gathering around. "You wouldn't believe what it was like. . .I convinced him to stop at this hotel. . . it must have been about three in the morning. . .he said, it was exactly what ---------------------------------------- Response 7 of 9 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 12/7/77 6:31 pm lynch / unidel he had in mind. . .from then on. . " she closed her eyes and tilted back her head, "it was BEAUTIFUL!!!" All the girls squealed, and Patty quietly began telling about the evening with more erotic detail. . . * * * * * "Jesus Damn, sure is uncomfortable," Dr. Graper said to himself. Advanced Communication Theory 467 was hard enough, without having to come to class with no underwear. Rather, not just no underwear but cardboard underwear that he had hurriedly fashioned from an Pathmark shopping bag. "Too bad, that monographed underwear is expensive. Cardboard's cheap but. . .not as good," he said, shifting uneasily in his seat. "Graper, Dr. D. . " said a voice from the front of the room "Yes?" "Please explain the Shannon-Weaver mathematic model of communication to the class." "Of course," he said. ---------------------------------------- Response 8 of 9 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 12/7/77 6:32 pm lynch / unidel The End Graper Stories ---------------------------------------- Response 9 of 9 *** A Story by Dr. Graper *** 12/7/77 6:35 pm lynch / unidel NOTE TO BILL LYNCH: When reading my notes. . . .hey, you're not Bill Lynch!! Stop reading this!! No, I'm not talking to YOU, Bill, I'm talking to this person here who seems to be eavesdropping on our conversation. Stop it! This is personal! Alright, now, Bill, when I proofread through my notes. . .HEY, YOU'RE STILL READING!!. . .OK, I think he's proceeded to the next note. . .alright, when I proofread through my notes, I see that the grammar is screwed up here and there which annoys my super esoteric language values, and then I press SHIFT-EDIT to fix it up, and the damn machine says, SORRY, YOU CAN'T EDITT THIS NOTE. Well, why the hell not? It's my note! Oh forget it.